So, I saw this on one of my hetero-centric blogs, and I just had to share this foolishness. Who knows, maybe I’m the only foolish one, because I don’t understand it AT ALL. Actress Dania Ramirez, Kelis’ bff/rumored DL side-piece, gave an interview for Esquire magazine, and apparently had to attend lesbian training for a role on a Spike Lee film. Here’s the excerpt:
“ESQ: Is it true Spike Lee sent you to lesbian boot camp for She Hate Me?
DR: Lesbian boot camp wasn't really about learning to kiss women -- but we did go out to a couple of lesbian clubs for fun. It was about getting firsthand information from lesbians about all aspects of that community. Being in a relationship, being discriminated against, just learning about different kinds of lesbians.
ESQ: Okay, we'll bite. What are the different kinds of lesbians?
DR: There are all kinds of ways to be intimate with a woman. There are certain lesbians who just want to have a best friend and love her forever, and then there are some lesbians who just want to get laid and keep it moving.”
Now, absolutely, there are ALL kinds of ways to be intimate with a woman, but that’s for a whole separate post ;) But what really got me was that she basically summed up our community as consisting of 2 types: homie lover friends and hoes. I mean, I’ve seen some obviously stupid presumptions made about lesbians, but this just really takes the cake. Her first answer was dope. She talks about “all aspects” of our community, to include: being in a relationship and being discriminated again. Then in her second response, she goes dingbat on us and gives her 2 examples of lesbian relationships. It’s not blatant homophobia, but it damn sure marginalizes us as lonely hoes. Lonely, so we end up screwing our bestie and then just end up complacent in that relationship, or we’re just a bunch of hot and fast asses lovin’ them and leaving them.
I see it’s still incomprehensible that two women could have an active, passionate, romantic relationship for the shear fact that they love women, and nothing more. These responses make it sound like we are DEFAULTING to women for comfort, at best. At our worst, we are freaks who bang women and have no emotional bond outside of sex. Is that only ludicrous to me?! Yin and yang is an energy, not a biological gender. You can find this harmony and dynamic in homosexual relationships just as you can in heterosexual relationships. There are male and female energies. I am not just talking androgyny, or chicks who dress in menswear. I know a lot of studs/ags/butches who are more feminine than ME in my highest heels, tightest pants, longest weave, and my heaviest padded Vickies Very-Sexy bra. It’s an energy, not how someone dresses. I could do an entire post on this, but you get the point.
Now, I absolutely agree that it is beneficial to a relationship to be FRIENDS with a partner or potential partner, however, the emotional bond does not end at friendship. I love women for more than just their bodies too though. There’s something ELSE, beyond the physical and familiar. It’s their essence, their BEING, their mind, their heart, hell, their SMELL. I mean, y’all have to understand, so I won’t beat a dead horse.
And one night stands are FINE, I’ve had them, will probably have them again, and I NEVER judge people on their sexual habits. However, there’s a difference between enjoying a random women here and there and being promiscuous. I know a few promiscuous chicks or “hoes” ‘cause I’m comfortable using that word (apologies if you’re not) who get it in with a different chick every week (or every night on the weekends) and it is not JUST sex. There is an emotional attachment to women that is clear and evident. It is no different than a straight man or woman who dips in to random people. They are certainly capable of securing and sustaining a relationship with the other person; however, perhaps due to age, personal circumstance, or maybe because they just haven’t FOUND a partner they’d like to keep around, they limit the relationship to sexual activity. WHATEVER the reason, it’s no different when we do it, from when “they” do it.
I can’t believe I actually liked this chick. She sounds like an air-head. But I remember when I was messin’ with straight girls, the less going on upstairs the better, because then I didn’t run the risk of growing an emotional attachment…on second thought, maybe Kelis knows what she’s doing after all.
Meow ;-P
